


To The Fallen - A Collection of Endings by Spock Grayson

by AlyssiaInWonderland



Series: Bones' Biographer [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate History, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Dystopia, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Other, Spock is a biographer, and he's trying to keep it together, bones is a doctor, but there is catharsis too, no clue how to tag this, so he can study, they are all poor darlings, this is the story of how those he saved died, who saved many lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:32:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssiaInWonderland/pseuds/AlyssiaInWonderland
Summary: Vulcan makes First Contact with Earth during the First World War. The war is brought to an armistice by the Vulcan contact, but when the Vulcans leave, with a small host staying without contact with the rest, to foster relations, Earth becomes insular and xenophobic beyond the scope of reason. A Resistance is formed, to act against the cruelty.Spock is intrigued by the mysterious Resistance member Leonard 'Bones' McCoy. He writes a biography of the man; his publishers request a companion piece about the deaths of other Resistance members Leonard knew. This fic is a tour through Spock's thoughts and writings on the deaths of those whose lives Bones touched.Many of the deaths are shrouded in obscurity, making catharsis hard to find. Can Spock find his peace? And what now?





	To The Fallen - A Collection of Endings by Spock Grayson

Spock knew that he was being obsessive. Self-awareness, for all its uses, did nothing to assuage his curiosity. It was, then, oddly fortunate that he had a great deal in the way of leeway for his research topics. His biography was scheduled to be published in the next year, and the house had requested a sequel of sorts, to accompany it. He would not be so crass as to express joy, but he appreciated the opportunity nevertheless.

 

_The loss of Pavel Chekov and Hikaru Sulu was detrimental in the extreme to the Resistance’s efforts. Less than a year following the disappearance of Leonard McCoy, Chekov and Sulu were involved in a supply run that was intercepted by the police. Due to the lack of protections for those who were in the Resistance, the police had recently gained clearance to use live firearms during their attacks. The pair’s plane was shot down as they attempted to collect rations from a storage depot just south of San Francisco. The official records state that the fire ravaged the plane until little remained save twisted metal. The smoke provided a screen that was initially feared to be a diversion; observers reported seeing signs of movement behind it. Chekov and Sulu did not return from their mission; this indicates that the hypothesis that it was indeed a diversion was false._

Spock found that he wished the smoke had been cover. He spent several evenings attempting to find a network of underground tunnels that might have afforded them an escape, or stories of two unknown men appearing at the time of the plane’s destruction. These attempts were not fruitful. Most damning of all, was Sarek’s own words.

 

_“Chekov and Sulu were both highly competent and essential members of their team for the Resistance. If they had survived, I speculate that the time taken to succeed in our endeavour would have been far less.” – quote from Ambassador Sarek._

Spock requested a substitute to take his lectures at the University that week.

 

 _Janice Rand was reported missing no more than one month after the deaths of Chekov and Sulu. She was presumed dead upon an eyewitness account of a woman matching her description lying in an alley, although the body had disappeared by the time the police elected to investigate the claim. While she was not a key figure in the Resistance actively, she was passively involved in a multitude of awareness campaigns, and the loss hit the recruitment division hard._

_Research indicates that she fell prey to a petty mugging. The eyewitness account claimed to have seen a male figure crouching by her body, at which point the witness ran to locate the nearest sympathetic policemen. When they returned, the man and the body were gone._

Spock found that he was growing to understand the Terran custom of marking graves. With no capacity for the transfer of katra, it made a certain sense to hold to the identity of the bodies left behind. The intricate machines of organic compounds, woven together by evolution and distant probability, kept from falling apart by little more than the most delicate of strands of consciousness. He fell back on his oldest sense of spirituality, attempting to find some measure of peace amongst the tragedies that he was compulsively pursuing. To find the deaths of those who had been touched by Leonard McCoy’s life, and cling to the foolish hope that in their passing being observed, they might find that their falling was not in vain.

He had never felt more pained, or more proud, to be the son of his parents.

 

_Christine Chapel and Nyota Uhura were in death as they were in life; together. Ever fearless, Nyota went on from being a guest of one of the Resistance safe-houses to hosting one herself, with Christine as the house nurse. Their safe-house was raided just a year before the end of the Abandoned Years, as that time of Resistance is now known. They successfully evacuated all the people under their care, except themselves. They remained, to delay the discovery of the escape tunnels used. This sacrifice undoubtedly saved their charges, and the other safe-houses whole tunnel networks adjoined their own._

_Their house was doused thoroughly in mustard gas; they worked together through it to move furniture to cover the access to the tunnels. They were found hand in hand, sheltering under their bed. The photograph, taken by the police as evidence in their case, is not included, to maintain the dignity of the dead._

_Perhaps in a gesture of solidarity, their house was burned down before their bodies could be taken to the unmarked graveyards in use at the time._

_“I’d like tae thank whoever lit up that building. Gave them a pyre fit for the warriors they bloody well were, is what! And curse the [redacted] who did this tae ‘em!” – quote from Montgomery Scotty, at the Resistance memorial service._

Spock was struggling to breathe. His eyes felt wet, and his hand had no strength with which to grip his pen. His mind was whirling with the chaos of grief and anger, intermingling until the emotional testimony that Scotty had given sang inside his own heart, wrathful and bitter and the dearest flame he had yet clung to in his life. That the Resistance had been successful was a comfort made of shattered glass.

 

_Montgomery Scotty died just after his most infamous achievement; trans-warp beaming equations. On the last day of the Abandoned Years, the first day of contact with another Vulcan envoy, thanks to Scotty’s proficient tinkering with the little remaining technology at the main Resistance base, it was decided to attempt to beam reinforcements down directly to the base. Ambassador Sarek and Captain Pike both agreed that it would be an invaluable tactical advantage._

_Scotty stepped up to the challenge, and successfully edited the equations to allow for this to occur; this was a significant factor in aiding the Resistance winning the final battle and coming to terms once more with the Terran government. On his way to collect other reinforcements, his car was waylaid by the police. The car fell off the cliff at the roadside. The impact of the collision with the ground likely killed him instantly. The wreckage burned for over two hours, obscuring the view of a sizeable portion of the road and valley._

_“Scotty always liked the idea of a Viking-style funeral. It always seeming oddly fitting that he got that wish, after a fashion. He was a very good man. He liked my challah.” – quote from Amanda Grayson._

Spock took a deep breath, closing his eyes in an attempt to access some level of meditation. He thought of his mind, combing out the tangles of emotionalism, acknowledging the feelings and setting them aside, to be processed later through thought and ritual. He thought of a desert oasis, the cool water warmed in the shallows by the insistent press of the sun. He thought of another sun, blushing peaches in Georgia and sweeping across Iowan cornfields. The sensation of a soft hand stroking his feverish forehead when he was young and couldn’t quite bite down on the whimpers of pain. Calm washed over him, simple and purifying, as he breathed, existing in all those places and sensations at once.

Now for the part he had been dreading. He took out the last reel of surveillance tape, paused just after Leonard left his lover’s body behind, and pressed play.

 

_‘The room was empty, except for Jim’s still body, his eyes gently closed by his lover’s hands. His hair was darkened with sweat, his face streaked with tears, but frozen in a soft, open smile. He could have been sleeping, except for all the blood.’ – scene from surveillance tape #43_

Spock held his breath, gripping the controls so hard that they dented in his hand. The image swam before his eyes. He could almost sense the warmth of Jim’s life, fading into the cold of the cell. Historical record necessitated that he continue. His hands shook as he pressed play once more.

 

 _‘A shadow fell across the doorway. It moved hesitantly at first, then running into full view of the camera. Leonard seemed to have aged years in the small timespan given by the camera, his eyes haunted with pain and loss. He knelt by Jim’s body, and took one of his hands. Even with the camera resolution being low, tears could be seen falling from his drowning eyes._  
  
_“This endin’, it ain’t fair. I barely got t’spend my life with you, Jim. An’ that’s what I wanted for us! Years an’ years. God, it’ll take me longer’n you’ll ever know ta get over this. Hell, I ain’t ever gonna. I love ya, Jim. I reckon I’ve always loved ya, an’ I always will too. Don’t mean I ain’t gonna love anyone else, but you’ll always be righ’ there. In my heart. You wormed ya way in like some goddamn ray of fuckin’ light, kid. The world ain’t ever looked the same since I met ya. Taught me how ta hope. An’ I guess that’s what I wanted t’say to ya. I love you. An’…thank you. For bein’ mine while ya could, an’ lettin’ me be yours. I’m on my fuckin’ knees an’ my heart is bleedin’, and damn you for it, Jim, ‘cause I can still see the hope. We’re gonna win, Jim. The future’ll be in the stars. An’ so will you.”’ – scene and quote from surveillance tape #43_  
  
_Leonard carried Jim’s body out of the room himself. It is unknown what happened to him; the confusion of the escape meant that any note of this was lost._

 

Spock couldn’t fight the tears. His carefully constructed calm had been pulled apart, overwhelmed by the force of the tape’s contents. He felt like he had invaded on something deeply private, deeply pure and almost cathartic. Leonard’s final goodbye to Jim struck firmly at his centre, hitting a primal knot of grief that had been there since his mother’s death. As the tears slowed, he stood. He locked up his office, and stopped by a florist, ignoring the strange looks as he travelled the city’s bus system with reddened eyes. Nobody dared comment.

 

_The founders of the Resistance each lived happy lives. Admiral Christopher Pike lived out his life, married to Doctor Phillip Boyce, serving on the first human starship, and later going on to co-found Starfleet Academy with Ambassador Sarek. Admiral Pike and Doctor Boyce died peaceful deaths, just three months apart, and were buried together in the main cemetery owned by the old Resistance. Ambassador Sarek married Amanda Grayson, and they lived a very long life together. They adopted several children, as despite advances to science they struggled to conceive. Only fourteen years after their only half-vulcan half-human child was born, Amanda died. She was buried next to her lifelong friends, Admiral Pike and Doctor Boyce. Ambassador Sarek continues to work as an Ambassador between Vulcans and humans, and contributes as a founding member to Starfleet Academy._

Spock held the bouquet recommended by the florist loosely in his hands. He stood just to the side of the large memorial grounds for Resistance members; Amanda had wanted to be buried beside her friends, who had elected to be interred near the monument rather than in its grounds, as they had died peacefully. He blinked at the headstone, the cloud-cover making the day glow strangely, detaching him from the world somehow.

“I couldn’t say it at the time, mother, because I was clinging to so many ideas in my head. About what and who I should be. And recently, I have had to think, very hard, about so many things.” He took a slow, shuddering breath. “I can say it now. I love you, mother.”  
  
Carefully, he lay down the flowers, staring for a moment at the delicate contrast between petal and marble. He closed his eyes, and felt his heart tearing apart and healing all at once. After a time, the tears faded and he noticed that it was far colder then when he had arrived. Night had fallen around him as he stood, rigid, taking what catharsis he could in this moment.

He held up his shivering hand in the ta’al, and whispered the traditional words, laced with bittersweet comfort.

“Live long and prosper.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is Part 2!! I know this probably raised more questions than it gave answers, but I promise there is a conclusion! This was pretty much needed for set-up, and also for the necessary emotional journey for Spock.
> 
> I wrote this in one hit again, and it's super late right now, so I hope this is actually legible and also enjoyable!
> 
> Part 3 is firmly underway!
> 
> As every, comments and kudos feeds my dark soul!! <3
> 
> Thank y'all for reading!


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